Hello from Hazel, a bit about me
I am no stranger to grief. Almost twenty years ago, I experienced the unexpected deaths of my dad and mum just two years apart. At the time, I was completely overwhelmed, although you wouldn’t necessarily have known it. I threw myself into being busy. I went straight back to work. I didn’t cry. I was often told how well I was doing, how strong I was. Looking back, I can see how my avoidance of emotion was almost celebrated as resilience.
I had no idea then that funerals could be something more than a formal affair to endure, something to “get through”, exchange pleasantries, drink too much, and move on from. Even now, visiting Bristol Crematorium brings back memories of that conveyor belt of grieving families, and the unprocessed trauma I was carrying at the time.
In more recent years, I have began a very different path that includes learning to truly feel. Through group process work, breathwork, psychedelic experience, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, I have cried the tears I wasn’t able to cry all those years ago. This has allowed me to soften.
Alongside this personal process, I became deeply interested in spiritual approaches to death and dying, in particular, ritual and the wisdom of Buddhist traditions. The idea that to truly live in this moment is to accept the inevitability of death feels both profound and liberating. There is beauty in the realisation that we will all die. The idea that if you can gently soften towards that truth, death becomes less morbid and frightening, and more a natural part of being alive.
This has gradually grew into a desire to contribute something positive in this field.
Eighteen months ago, I began volunteering with St Peter’s Hospice as a Hospice Neighbour. In this role, I’m paired with someone living locally who has a life-limiting illness. I visit for chats, companionship, and practical support, helping create space for them to live as fully as possible during this time. I have also completed the foundation course with Living Well Dying Well, the education arm of the End of Life Doula movement, training as an End of Life Companion. This course deepened my understanding of the holistic aspects of dying, the power of presence, of being rather than doing, and of shifting from a purely medical model to a person-centred approach.
A holistic approach honours the whole person: their wishes, their spiritual beliefs, their relationships, their unfinished conversations, their humanity. It supports the possibility of living fully right up until death, and of dying in a compassionate, loving environment with dignity.
Creating Dying Well Bristol feels like a natural next step, a way to bring together holistic offerings and community resources for those facing end of life, their loved ones, and anyone wanting to explore death and dying more openly in the Bristol area.
My hope is that this website will grow organically and collaboratively, shaped by the community it serves. If you know of something that would be valuable to include, I would truly love to hear from you.
Take care,
Hazel